Another distant crack worms its way to my ear, past the engulfing revelers and continual boomclaps of towering speakers. Peering above the crowd, I can’t identify the source in the night, only the endless flock of lanterns — dots of pale orange dawdling upward into navy. With five minutes left in 2015, the cracks in the dark are becoming more frequent, the overflowing anticipation of the new year.
I wanted to write my own kind of story
2015 was pivotal. Hardline, Twitch, Community, and Wheelman summarize the first half of the year with a simple accuracy. I learned about supporting a game, designing within boundaries, and engaging a fantastic community of fans. But I forever cleft the year in two by fleeing that great team of developers and my wonderful life in California. I’ll remember it as the year I finally did what I’d always said I would — for better or worse.
My Biggest Decision Of 2015 was actually easy to make — at least comparing it with the unknowable fog looming in 2016. Leaving wasn’t painless, but I’d always known it would eventually be necessary. And though starting the creative process is never simple, the past few months have been filled with the joy of new ideas and limitless inspiration. Pats on the back were easily obtained when beginning the journey. 2016 pats will require much more sweat and soot. Creativity is far from over, but Production has started.
The mystery of the universe is not time but size
I have a vision of myself as a lonely blacksmith in an isolated hut, flung anachronistically through the unexplored galaxy on my own tiny little grey planet. It’s absurd, but I keep thinking about it. As this blacksmith, I know the sword I’m required to make, but I also know the incessant hammering will become painful. With the iron melting in front of me, Fear and Doubt balance on my shoulders. Questions about the future creep into my mind: whatever the outcome, where do I go next — with my career, with my location, with those I love? I’m hurtling towards an unknowable destination, but I can’t let the universe get in my head. I just have to sit in my hut, and hammer like I know how. The galaxy must wait until the sword is done.
If you don’t start out too big for your britches, how are you gonna fill ’em when you grow up?
The countdown begins in a language I don’t understand, but the building momentum is easy to hear in the crowd. As every voice crescendos into cheers, the anticipation transforms to joy, epitomized by the encompassing sparkles that drown the light and sound from every other source. I’m snapped out of my reflective daze by a squeeze of my hand, a kiss on my cheek, and a loving whisper in my ear. My smile goes wide as I squeeze back. After all, there’s nothing to fear in 2016.
Quotes from The Gunslinger by Stephen King
Image by Thomas Hawk